Contentment

Today my kids left Seattle after a week-long stay here. (My mom was here too, she is awesome and drove them up here & back 8 hours driving one way!!!) I am usually sad when they leave, and they are sad too. Their little brother was born back in Oregon while they were here so they got to go home & meet him. Usually when they leave, I spend the day melancholy, sad, and sleeping. Today, while I was a bit sad, I went to visit my friend Spatch. She & I met at Burning Man 2009. She is from New York, and I thought it might be a looooong time till I got to see her again. This thought made me sad, as she is one of the people I spent alot of time with and very much bonded with, and loved deeply while on the playa. Guess what? She is driving cross country and was visiting Washington, so we met up in Port Townsend. I had to drive North and catch a ferry over to Kingston, then drive up to see her. I'd never been to that part of Washington, and the drive was really quite amazing, and only an hour from Kingston to Pt. Townsend. We visited the Science Center Museum and saw some sea creatures.

Once there, after meeting her adorable puppydog Winter, we spoke about our lives.
It made me contemplate, yet again, how similar lives can be even when people are far away from each other. She told me of her decision to quit her job and move with her boyfriend across the country, so they could be together. While I didn't move across the country, I did quit my job and decided to move in with my boyfriend in a new state. Her concerns with her relationships were similar to mine, and her love for her man were similar to my love for my man. And the whole time, it was reassuring to know that YET AGAIN, I am not alone.
Yes, it's scary to take biiig jumps and not have jobs, and just trust that things will work out. It is too easy to let the bad things take over, and fight with my boyfriend and just let bad feelings take over because of the scary thoughts. But today, today, today, today.... I thought "why?" "Why am I letting the bad take over the good? Old habits? Because I'm afraid? Because I feel like I'm alone?" And while all of those thoughts are true and valid, they're also complete bullshit. Because just talking to Spatch was proof that I'm not alone. EVERYONE everywhere is taking big risks, and doing crazy things, and quitting jobs, and loving and fighting, and such. So, I decided to try harder to remember this. We are all connected for good or for bad. If I make a conscious attempt to TRY to let good take over, then maybe, just maybe, GOOD will become a force and a habit in my life. Above all, I'm thankful for the time I spent with Spatch. Just to catch up, to talk and to listen, to reassure each other that we are loved from afar, and especially her help (whether she knew she was helping or not) in making me recognize that I am not so alone after all. Thanks Spatch!


Also, it made me realize, that I DO have people here, friends even, who like to hang out with me. And I need to make an effort to invite those people over. Right now I have no job, and therefore no spending money really, but that doesn't mean that I can't invite someone over to play a game, or go for a walk outside, or go to a park, or something else for free. These people have tried to include me in their lives, and if I don't do the same, then I would be silly to let the chances pass me by. So to the friends I have made in Seattle, and the friends I have yet to make, cheers! Thanks all for including me, and thanks for being patient with my hesitancy.