After much heartbreak & lots of crying & annoyance at the last year after my miscarriage, I got pregnant again pretty quickly, and very luckily.
On Dec 19, 2014, baby H joined my world and my life.
She is the third child of mine, my other two kids being ages 14 & 12 right now.
It is amazing to add her to my family, to be a sibling for others and a daughter for my sweet husband, his first child.
I am so happy to have her in my world. If I believed in heaven I would like to think that my dad and brother sent her to me just wrapped up perfectly. I don't believe in heaven or hell but I still like to have those thoughts from time to time.
I still sometimes think of the baby we lost. Although it wasn't a "baby" yet, it could have been, it was going to eventually be a baby, and I wonder if it would've been a boy or a girl, what it's name would have been, what it would look like. I will probably always wonder about it, and forever it will be special to me no matter what.
For now I am definitely sleep deprived, crabby, feeling very unsexy indeed and basically acting milk machine 24/7 for a newborn baby. I wouldn't want it any other way and therein lies the grace, I suppose, of motherhood.
