LUCKY!

No not like THAT kind of lucky.


Not like THIS kind of lucky either.



THIS kind of lucky. The LOVE kind.


About a month ago, my boyfriend & I spent a romantic weekend at a cabin in the woods of Northern Washington. For the previous two months we were in a constant state of fighting, a constant state of upheaval. We were stuck in bad relationship patterns. Then we went to Burning Man. Everything renewed itself there, our love had come full circle to the place it began 4 years ago. But then immediately after the burn, we fell back into the fighting pattern. UNTIL.... EPIC CABIN WEEKEND.

We began our time together around 5 p.m. We took a walk out to Glacier Creek and watched the rushing water before us. We stopped at the swings on the way back to the cabin and we swung our hearts out. We went back to the cabin for some dinner. We had mutual back rubs. We did deep breathing together. We walked back to the creek. We We talked calmly about the way we fight and the way we want to change the pattern TOGETHER. We talked about the reasons we were together in the first place. We talked about the first time we went to Burning Man and how strongly our love felt then. We talked about all the things we love about each other openly and honestly. We talked about all the things we DON'T love about each other openly and honestly and calmly. We talked, and talked, and talked, and swung on swings, and walked in the rain ALL NIGHT long. My boyfriend made a fire, and we cozied in front of it. This night showed me us both, showed ME, so many things about my life that I had been so quick to forget.

I AM LUCKY in love. I am supported beyond belief. I always hoped for the love of my life, I always thought he existed somewhere. A few times, I thought the persons I was with before were him. But I was wrong. This impossible relationship that both of us never thought could happen or exist is TOTALLY EXISTING.

Not one word of hate or misunderstanding was spoken that night. We realized that we are together for the long haul. We are in this life together. We are going to spend the rest of our lives together. And although we cannot predict the future, we know that we see each other in it. There are no doubts that when I am old and gray, I will be standing next to the same person I'm with right now, and he with me.

In times of cloudy judgement, and harsh environments, and tough economy, and etc. etc. etc.... it is too easy to forget the ones we love. To start taking things for granted. To just not give a shit because it's easier. It's easier to not care than open up and get hurt. But it's never, EVER worth it. (At least not in my own experiences)




I am thankful for the one who has chosen to spend his life with me. Who has supported me and continues to support me DAILY. Through me trying to find a job, having regular crying jags, a lame sense of humor, no dressing style, a defensive streak, HE stands by me. He stands up for me when he feels I have been wronged by others. He is ON MY SIDE. It has taken me MONTHS to realize this.

Here are the most important things I learned at the cabin:
We are partners in this life. We are meant to be in LOVE. We are GOOD TOGETHER. We are ENOUGH for each other, whether or not we feel like it doesn't matter. We are ENOUGH!!! We LOVE each other through thick & thin and will do whatever it takes to stay together so we can form a life as one unit.


To my boyfriend I say these words: we have been together for almost one year. We have gone through turmoils and highs and we have made it this far. I look forward to spending many many more years with turmoils and highs together with you. As long as you are by my side, we can do it. I love you. I am lucky.