Time passing

Slowly oh so slowly. Time is passing.
Last week I spent in Southern Oregon hanging out with my mom & my kids at the coast. It was really fun, and it made me really miss my kids. This is the first summer in 5 years I haven't had them all summer long, and it sucks! I came back to Seattle knowing that I wasn't going to be living in the city anymore. Due to circumstances of life, my boyfriend and I had to move out of our apartment and are currently living in a bedroom in his mom's house in a suburb about 20 miles north of the city. Ugh. It's not like I don't like his mom--- that's not what the hard part is--- I REALLY like my "mom in law" she's rad! Living temporarily is just a tough thing to do, and we've all had to do it. Living out of boxes, and searching through plastic sacks for my shampoo is just generally annoying. I have hope that we both know this is not a PERMANENT situation. In fact, it seems the boy's sister might be moving out of her place, which would be perfect for us to move into. So let's all cross our fingers that this will work out properly for all involved parties!

So, anyway, after the vacation at the beach, it was really hard to come back to Seattle and feel kind of homeless. I really wanted to stay in Oregon for another month and just hang out with my kids and visit some old friends, and then go to Burning Man at the end... but that didn't happen. Instead, here I am feeling a bit weird in the suburbs.

Continuing on this seemingly endless job search may be easier here, let's hope so. On the other hand, let's hope that if I do get a job suddenly that I can still get time off to go to the desert this year.

Speaking of the desert... I'm kind of looking forward to it and kind of nervous about it. I think I'm nervous because I'm camping with some people I've never camped with before, and it will be exciting to see the different and new dynamic in this new camp. My old home camp, the Vomiting Sparrows, is totally amazing, but I have felt a shift the past two years that I am not comfortable with entirely and have sought new grounds. This year will be those new grounds on the desert.
I am not ready... much much packing and purchasing and resting and prepping to be done before the Man burns.

To go back to the start of this post, I miss my kids, and I hope I can make it down to see them again soon. I only hope they will understand someday why I moved so far away from them. To make myself happy, so I guess I'll try harder to actually BE happy.