Sunday, December 27, 2009

Car Wrecks a.k.a. blessings

Today was a very bad day. Long story short, I was told to not come to work until I talked with my manager. Fine, I will do that. (If you want details, ask me, I will tell) So, good news is that I didn't have to wake up again at 4 a.m. which is why I'm awake NOW!!!

So, I had a really horrible day in general, and spent a lot of time crying and my eyes burned awhile, and then I decided to stop. What happens in my life is usually in my hands, and what happens in this situation is completely in my own hands!!!
I know I am stuck in this stupid stupid work area which I dislike very much, and it's a never ending circle of bill-paying/working/billpaying etc. like most of everyone else, so I know I'm not alone in this. I've been pointing my inner self northward, and I think this is just one more thing to make me jump that direction.

Since I didn't have to wake up early, I decided to go out with some friends, and in the process ran into a few friends I haven't seen in a looooong time. All of which encouraged me to leave my current situation and go north. None of these friends knew of what happened today, so that just added some fuel to my fire in the best of ways. All along, some of the friends who knew what happened told me to not worry and that the grand scheme will not be changed either way. Everyone is right.

I'm so thankful for them. I'm so thankful for my life, even when it is a ball of drama, and of unknowing, and I'm really really really scared out of my mind, but I will take life either way, good or bad.... knowing that it is my own choosing. Maybe it has to be bad before the good can truly show the path to me.

Anyway, on the way home tonight it was really snowing hard. I got all the way to Round Lake Rd., was going about 25 m.p.h. and slid off the road and hit a tree with my truck. Literally smacked right into it. It was scary. After a few minutes of sitting there in the ditch in shock, I did the following.

1. Said a prayer to whoever is listening.
2. My truck started first try.
3. I turned on the hubs into four-wheel-drive (remembering my dad all along, as he showed me how years ago, and said a thankyou to him)
4. Got back into the truck and pulled out of the ditch in 4-wheel-drive.
5. Drove home and got home safely.

I don't believe this could have been possible without the protection of my dad and brother. I think they are my angels. Maybe not the 'angelic winged' kind, but the kind who know when I need help, physical & emotional and are there to deliver it.
There is something beyond this world, some kind of 'heaven' and I am soo sooo thankful my family has my back.

This whole day , evening, has led me to believe that I am meant for some greater purpose. My friends and family have helped me remember to not lose focus of what I am doing, of where I am going. I am meant to go north, I am meant for a greater life outside of these walls.

It just took a really hard lesson for me to learn and I have.
Thankyou to all of you who helped.

Humble.... I am ever humble and in thanks and in love. Yes in love. But that is a whole different story...

3 comments:

Athelwulf said...

Whatever makes you happy, I say go for it.

Also, holy shit, I'm glad that wreck didn't hurt you. Don't do that again. I forbid it!

Helena said...

Whew! I'm glad you're okay! How's the truck?

Erika said...

The truck is OK! And I'm OK too!