Sometimes

Sometimes I get really tired.
Sometimes I wonder what the hell is wrong with me.
Sometimes I wonder what the hell is right with me.
Sometimes stuff sucks.
Sometimes stuff is good.
Sometimes stuff is REALLY FREAKIN' AWESOME.
Sometimes (OFTEN) I wonder what it would be like if I could actually get diagnosed with what the heck is wrong in my head, what if there was a way to fix it that I could actually afford, what if I didn't have to suffer anymore?
Sometimes I wish I could go to a doctor and see if I have something wrong with my brain and/or my body, so then at least I would KNOW for sure (if I trusted the doc's opinion that is). And then maybe I could fix it already. I wonder how long it's been this way- I mean, in my head it's been this way my whole damn life.

Alas, I can't go to any doctor for free, and I don't qualify for any kind of cheap health insurance around here because they "aren't accepting new patients"

So, sometimes (often)I remain unoptomistic.