Sky is the best shade of orange and purple with cloudy almost fall shades coming in. Sounds of city garbage trucks, highway noise. Blue powerade (the blue) , shirt falling off, chewing on my own tongue thinking of someone else chewing on his own tongue, wishing I wasn't so damn alone. Even at Burning Man I couldn't stay awake this long, what the fuck? I broke my own record. The sunrises I've seen in K. Falls - the ones I remember- I don't know why- I was dating Matt Floyd at the time, we were in turmoil, I went up to Kimberly Drive about 1997ish and the sun came up over the city. Bubble Park, Mike, Nate, Me, 1999ish lost in the bubble world. till this year, nowish, 2009ish, February coming down off of something really fun with (taken with N and M) in my own shower, alone, watching the beautiful sun come up through the shower window. Another shower taken at J.T's house and the same drugs. Sunrise after donkey fest May 2009... tears, crying til I could cry no more. And NOW in Sept. just back from the burn. Saw a play at the Linkville, went to Waldo's , went to B and M's house , took some ___ and some ____ and made out with Lucas in his car, kissed Eli at his house, walked back to Bob's and right then the sun was coming up over the Lake. Missing P_ my playa lover, or at least I wish he was- so much it hurts. Missing S--- my ex boyfriend, missing men in general. *this is the point where I began crying and texting... crying so hard I couldn't breathe. It was cathartic, terrible, and amazing all at once* My next thoughts were: No more drugs at 4 AM or actually it's the PERFECT time to do them next year you f*cking idiot.
S in my head :"do more drugs"
me "my face is melting off"
p: "I need another glowstick!"
Now it's saturday. Begin.
1 comment:
I had to re-read this a few times and I still don't think I can wrap my brain around it. If nothing else you've given my brain a 50 second workout.
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