Christmas Thoughts

On my phone I get this free app called "Inspire Me" I read it daily. Sometimes it is cool, sometimes it is not cool. I found this one from last December that I emailed to myself, and it makes sense for this time of year...............

Today's Quotation:
At Christmastime, children play an essential part in our celebrations.  So much of what we do is intended to please them--and all the while our hearts keep hearkening back to the Christmas memories of our own childhoods.  On Christmas Eve, sometimes we can't help but envy our children the stars in their eyes, especially when our own eyes are dull with exhaustion.     Christmas is so much simpler for a child.  Can we open our tired, adult eyes to that same simplicity? Ellen Sanna

Today's Meditation:
Almost everyone that I know complicates Christmas a great deal.  They buy too many gifts, or worse, they feel obligated to buy too many gifts because of what they perceive as other people's expectations and potential disappointment.  They dread the family get-togethers and don't want to go to them, but they rarely say no.  They spend more money than they have and then suffer for that for months afterwards.  It's quite sad that we don't allow ourselves simply to sit back and enjoy the Christmas season. A lot of the stress that we feel during the season is based on expectations, especially those of the children that we don't want to disappoint.  Many kids have developed grandiose expectations of gifts to be gotten, and they know how to put the pressure on their parents if they feel that there's the slightest possibility of getting what they want.  But trying to meet other people's expectations is rarely a recipe for happiness.  Christmas should be a great opportunity for us to show people who we are in our generosity, not a chance to show them that they can manipulate us with their expectations. Simplifying Christmas is very important if we ever want to feel the true joy of the holiday.  Christmas is about peace and the joy we can share with others, and there are plenty of ways that we can share those things without getting caught up in the decorating contests and the buying frenzies and the manipulations.  In our family, we realized early on that Christmas should be simple, and the simpler we keep it, the more we're able to give during the rest of the year, also. Remember, pleasing children isn't a question of giving in to all their whims and wants.  Pleasing them also has to do with teaching them the true importance of holidays such as Christmas, about the reverence and the peace and the joy we're meant to share.  They can help us to realize this joy if we can just learn about the wonder and the magic from them, and combine that knowledge with our own knowledge of the significance of the more important aspects of the holiday season.

Questions to consider:
Do you find Christmas to be a stressful time or a peaceful, reverent time? Why? What kinds of things can we learn from children during the holidays? Why does simpler tend to be better in almost everything?
 


For further thought:
Christmas is not a time nor a season, but a state of mind. To cherish peace and goodwill, to be plenteous in mercy, is to have the real spirit of Christmas. Calvin Coolidge

Vices

I'm in a complaining mood so this is going to be a complaining post.

I miss my drinking days.
I don't miss getting drunk, but I miss going to the bar. I've been going with friends lately, like once a week, out to a nearby cider/beer bar, and that has truly been helping. It may seem like something weird to miss, but whatever, I like it. I like socializing outside of my house sometimes.

I hate HATE HATE looking for a job. Oh my god, it is the most awful bullshit ever. I have applied for a few and gotten denied for 2 since I got laid off in late March. One job I got denied b/cause I don't want to show up for work at 6 a.m. Don't tell me I'm being picky, I don't give a shit if I am... 6 a.m. is not a happy time for miss Erika. Period. The other one I was apparently overqualified for (cafeteria worker in hospital)... WTF! It's tough out there, boys & girls. Tough.

I am feeling super freaking fat lately. I don't weigh any more than normal, but my pants don't fit and I'm angry about this fact. They just fit fine last week. WTF is going on? This angers me. It angers me to the point that I am determined to lose this god damn fat stomach. I look pregnant, and I am NOT pregnant (unfortunately for me)..... I look sick to myself and I am not happy about it, so I must start exercising now. Luckily, my b.f. and I made a pact to walk every weekend somewhere together. Also, I think I have myself reached the point of unhappiness with my body that I am determined to start walking every day. I might not lose this weight quickly, but I am going to lose it, and that's all that matters. My b.f. suggested I put away the scale for one month starting the day I start exercising daily, and then see how much I lose in one month. I don't know if I can do it... I'm worried about GAINING weight, so that's why I weigh myself just to make sure I'm staying the same-ish.

I really want to have another kid. Like yesterday. There is no point in bringing this up to my b.friend because we've had endless talks about it. (YES I realize I would get fatter if I was pregnant- NOT THE POINT!!!!) He wants a kid, yes, but "not until we're ready"... There is no use trying to explain there will NEVER be a time when we are "ready". I'm frustrated and it sucks and I try to not to talk about it or bring it up, but it has really been bothering me lately. Ugh. I don't even know what to do anymore, I'm just upset.


The only non complaining thing I have to say in this post is that I'm really happy my 2 kids are moving only 3 hours away from me rather than the 8 hours away they live now. STOKED!

Slacking Off on Blog Posts Again

To those who read/follow.... yeah I haven't posted anything in over half of a year. My mistake. I guess I have nothing new to report usually so it's all good.

Let's see, I got a job over the "Holidays" which lasted until March, doing customer servicey things and that was really great. I made some money and more importantly met some really cool people there. Now I am unemployed (again- story of my WA life it seems) and super bored and super broke. It sucks being unemployed. It sucks looking for jobs. It all around SUCKS. Every part of it sucks... UNLESS I had a baby or my kids lived here for me to take care of, otherwise it's pretty much lame and does NO GOOD for self esteem, for hanging out, or for anything else really.

My b.f. and I are doing good. Still fighting once in a while, but mostly getting along the majority of the time. I've made some hella good friends, and I've been trying to be more proactive in my friendships with wanting to get out of the house and stuff.

No news is good news for now.